There’s a phrase that carries a world of wisdom in just five words:
“If he wanted, he would.”
On its surface, it feels like a statement of defeat, like giving up on someone who couldn’t meet you halfway. But beneath that, it’s a powerful truth — a truth that holds the key to reclaiming your worth, redefining your boundaries, and embracing the love you truly deserve.
Let’s talk, woman to woman.
How many times have you made excuses for someone? How many times have you justified their lack of effort by convincing yourself they’re just “busy,” “not good with feelings,” or “under a lot of stress”? How many sleepless nights have you spent overthinking a text message — or worse, the absence of one?
We’ve all been there. And let me tell you: you are not alone in this. You are not weak or foolish for wanting to believe in someone’s potential. In fact, it’s a testament to your beautiful, hopeful heart that you see the best in others. But there’s a thin line between hope and self-betrayal, between patience and settling for less. And that line is where “If he wanted, he would” comes in.
Love Is Shown, Not Just Spoken
We live in a world where words often come easy, but actions — those take real effort. Promises can be whispered in the quiet of the night, but what happens when the morning comes? Does he follow through, or are you left clinging to empty words, hoping they’ll someday turn into reality?
If he wanted, he would. If he truly wanted to prioritize you, he would find a way, not an excuse. If he wanted to make you feel special, he wouldn’t just say it; he’d show up — physically, emotionally, consistently.
Love isn’t about grand gestures alone. Sure, the surprise flowers or the romantic dinner date are wonderful, but love is in the small, everyday actions. It’s in the way he remembers your favorite coffee order, how he texts to make sure you got home safe, or how he genuinely listens when you’ve had a hard day. These things don’t require wealth, time, or superhuman effort. They require one thing: desire. The desire to make you feel valued and cherished.
Stop Making Excuses for His Inaction
Let’s be honest — women are exceptional at making excuses for others. We say things like, “He’s just not good at expressing himself,” or “He’s under a lot of pressure at work,” or “Maybe he doesn’t know how much I care.” But let me ask you this: how many of those excuses would you accept for yourself?
Imagine if the roles were reversed. Would you let a man you care deeply for wonder where he stands in your life? Would you leave his texts unread or forget to make time for him? Of course not. Because when we care, we show it. We don’t leave room for doubt.
So why is it so easy to accept less for yourself?
If he wanted to call, he would. If he wanted to make plans, he would. If he wanted to be part of your life, he would find a way to fit into it. People prioritize what matters to them. And you, my dear, are not someone who should ever feel like an afterthought.
You Are Not Asking for Too Much
One of the biggest lies the world tells women is that our standards are “too high.” We’re told to be chill, to be low-maintenance, to accept love in whatever form it’s given — even if that love is inconsistent or half-hearted.
But let me be clear: wanting someone to treat you with respect, kindness, and consistency is not asking for too much. Wanting someone to communicate with you, to make an effort, to show up for you — that’s not being demanding; that’s the bare minimum.
Do not shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s life. Do not quiet your needs to make someone else comfortable. You are not “too much.” You are enough, exactly as you are. The right person will see that.
The Power of Walking Away
Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away from someone who isn’t meeting you where you deserve to be met. And yes, it’s terrifying. There’s a voice in the back of your mind that whispers, “But what if no one else comes along?”
That voice is fear, not truth.
Here’s the truth: by staying in a situation where you are undervalued, you close yourself off to the possibility of something better. You deserve a love that fills your cup, not one that leaves you constantly thirsting for more. And you will never find that love if you settle for less.
Walking away isn’t about punishing the other person. It’s about choosing yourself. It’s about saying, “I deserve more than this,” and trusting that the right person will see that too.
The Beauty of Choosing Yourself
There’s magic in choosing yourself. It’s in the way you stop overthinking their every word or action. It’s in the way you start focusing on your own happiness, your own dreams, your own life.
When you choose yourself, you stop waiting for someone else to complete you. You realize that you are already whole. You are the sun, and anyone lucky enough to be in your orbit should feel honored — not the other way around.
And here’s the thing about the right person: he won’t dim your light. He won’t make you question your worth. He won’t leave you wondering if you’re enough, because he will make it clear — through his actions, not just his words — that you are everything he’s ever wanted.
And here is a reminder…..
To the woman waiting for a text that never comes: close the app, put your phone down, and take a deep breath. You deserve someone who doesn’t leave you waiting.
To the woman who feels like she’s giving 100% and receiving 10%: love should never feel one-sided. You deserve reciprocity.
To the woman afraid to let go because she’s invested so much time: don’t let sunk costs keep you tied to something that no longer serves you. Your time is precious, and it’s never too late to start anew.
And to every woman reading this: remember that you are a masterpiece. You are worthy of love, effort, and consistency. You are worthy of someone who moves mountains for you — not just when it’s convenient, but because they can’t imagine life without you.
The right person won’t need convincing. The right person won’t need reminding. The right person will want to — and they will.
So, hold your head high, set your standards firm, and never forget: if he wanted, he would.
